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Pt 2: Interfaith Ministry and Bridging Worlds, from the series Making Connections with Donna Apidone

Updated: May 20

PROLOGUE:

This is part two of the Making Connections with Donna Apidone Series. In this episode, Interfaith Ministry and Bridging Worlds, we follow Donna Apidone's path to ordination through an interfaith seminary in New York City, while still hosting Morning Edition. Fueled by her desire to connect more deeply with herself and others, she learned and experienced what continues to help her bridge diverse people groups through personal, genuine connection in both ministry and media.


I had a big loss in my life and it wasn't real easy to come back from that. And in coming back from it, I wasn't connecting with other people as nicely or professionally or compassionately as I thought I could have. So I did a couple of things. And one of them was to go to seminary--not because I wanted to be a minister . . . but because I wanted to be a better Donna. --Donna Apidone

Donna Apidone enjoys speaking to congregations regularly, saying, "It's a lot of fun . . . and a lesson to me every time."
Donna Apidone enjoys speaking to congregations regularly, saying, "It's a lot of fun . . . and a lesson to me every time."

 Colleen:

I'm reminded that you didn't just continue in your career path to become more and more of the interviewer that we're all familiar with. You have branched out even after retirement. You're still amazingly sprinkling yourself around in all kinds of creative ways--which is very inspiring for me. I think we're about the same age and one of those ways was that you became ordained as a minister. Is that okay to talk about?


Donna:

Yeah, we can talk about that. It was 2009 nine. Okay. I love the word sprinkling! That's how it feels sometimes, like a few drops of me here and a few others over there. That's exactly what it is.


Yeah, somewhere in the course of my work, I realized that at that particular time, maybe very early 2000's, I had a big loss in my life and it wasn't real easy to come back from that. And in coming back from it, I wasn't connecting with other people as nicely or professionally or compassionately as I thought I could have.


So I did a couple of things. And one of them was to to go to seminary, not because I wanted to be a minister or a practitioner or a pastor, depending on your perspective, but because. I wanted to be a better Donna. And that's what I said in all of my documents--you know, you have to present yourself: Why are you here in seminary? You have to do those things.


I want to be a better Donna. And I had a number of different faith traditions in my background in my family and in my surroundings where I grew up and didn't really feel like I was focused on any one of them. So I intentionally went to an interfaith seminary.


And I also thought, "Well, this is perfect because here I am on a new show every morning and I'm hearing about what this group is doing and how they're attacking that group and they don't get along." And I thought maybe by studying some of these world religions, I'll understand this world a little bit better. And maybe I can just know it and know myself a little bit more by studying that.


So it was a school--it's no longer around, but it was a school that was in New York City. And it was a a two year program. We had people from all over the world and all faith traditions.


So I have the title Reverend. Everyone who I graduated with was given that title when we were ordained in New York in 2009, but they all come from different backgrounds. Some of them are pastors. Some of them are wedding officiants. One of them is a rabbi, who is also a reverend, you know, coming from so many different backgrounds and all around the world, for this experience of learning about each other and finding out about ourselves.


One of my classmates had gone to Harvard, and she said, "I thought when we started this that I knew what to do. I signed up for my classes, I sharpened my pencils, I got out my journal, and I thought I was ready. And then--boom!" Because that's the kind of self work that you go through when you go through any kind of a spiritual program like that.


So there was a lot to go through. I came out of that experience with everything that I wanted to come out of it with--and a whole lot more. And again, you know, like early in my career when I thought it was going to be TV and it turned out to be video, I totally went a different path than I thought I would.

I don't preach in that sense. I just talk about my experiences and I talk about things that have hit me and lessons I've learned.

I speak to a lot of congregations. I speak to various kinds of people. Congregations, including the atheists group--which is so fascinating to talk to them and find out about them, and find out where their limitations are, and what they will be open to hearing about, and where not to go. But that's the truth with any congregation.


So yeah, I wander around the valley and the Sierra and a little bit of the Bay Area. And I I work closer with two organizations, two congregations than the other ones.. But it's just a really nice opportunity to literally practice what I preach. I don't preach in that sense. I just talk about my experiences and I talk about things that have hit me and lessons I've learned.


When you have to write that down and speak about it in front of a group of people, there's nothing to lie about. There's nothing to hold back. So you say it. And as soon as you say it, as soon as I say it, it becomes something else completely in theory, right? As soon as you see it or say it, it's different.


So it's a constant learning experience for me to do that work. I never wanted to be a minister who would lead a congregation, but speaking to congregations on a regular basis I'm very comfortable with. I'm glad that they invite me and it's a lot of fun and it's a trip because it's a lesson to me every time.


 Colleen:

Well, and you bring a real unique flavor. I've witnessed this several times... When you speak with a congregation, you kind of blow off the picture that people would have of you. You show up like everybody else. And people say, "Oh, well, she's this and she's that, but she's like me. And I'm just pondering as you're speaking, that when you show up that way, because in your profession, you work with words deeply and subtleties in tone, et cetera, all the communication tools... that you are such a precious bridge in those different groups that might feel a little alienated or a little separate.


I know personally that after I heard you speak the first time, I felt a little more relaxed, a little more tooled, equipped, more at ease in the world, from you having shared the way that you did. It kinda makes all that that is worthwhile more accessible--like I don't have to become something before I can step up and learn something at this other higher level or something. Yeah. I can just show up as me.

The first couple times I had to speak in public, I was horrified. And then I learned how to do it. And of course, it's the same connection if you're speaking in public as if you're speaking on air, but not everybody on air does it that way.

Donna:

Yeah, of course you can just show up as you, and of course we are just like you! There are a couple of things in that. On air, you have 30 seconds, you have 60 seconds, or you have the length of an interview--but the questions aren't as important as the answers. So I was never speaking as much as the person I was interviewing. So there's that.


When I stand in front of a group and I'm talking for a solid 20 minutes, you do hear more; you do get more. Often, too, there is usually at least one person in that room who knows me a little bit better because they've invited me or we're already friends or something like that. I couldn't get away with standing in front of a group and saying something that isn't really me because at least that one person would know about it: "No, no, no, Donna, that's not true. Come on." I can't even get away with it. But yeah, I guess it's the difference between what you have to do in your job and what you have to do for real.


And it's also connection. I found it very hard, 35 years ago or whatever, the first time I had to speak in public, because I was used to being in that little studio with padded walls and a microphone, and no one really sees you there, and it's safe. You can talk to people, and you can say whatever you want to, and they don't see you.


The first couple times I had to speak in public, I was horrified. And then I learned how to do it. And of course, it's the same connection if you're speaking in public as if you're speaking on air, but not everybody on air does it that way.


That was my way of doing it. I always wanted to have that connection with the person I was talking to.

The first rule of radio is talk to one person. Don't try to talk to 100,000 people. Don't say all of you. No, it's a very personal experience when you listen to radio. And the first rule of ministry is, meet them where they are.

Colleen:

And obviously you did. I've read that the Morning Edition has had more than a hundred thousand listeners.


Donna:

Yeah, Yeah. And that's a real trip too. A hundred thousand--how do you even, I can't picture that. You know, in person, I think the largest group I've ever spoken to, in a performance actually, was 2,000 people--and that just seemed so enormous. So a hundred thousand--that's like a city! So I never thought about that. You just can't, and that's, that's sort of the first rule of radio. I'm sorry that more people don't follow it, but the first rule of radio is talk to one person. Don't try to talk to 100,000 people. Don't say all of you. No, it's a very personal experience when you listen to radio. And the first rule of ministry is, meet them where they are.


Colleen:

So those two together, I think that's what you're talking about. Did you notice a difference between before your ministerial studies in being able to show up that way, and afterwards? You're nodding your head...


Donna:

Nodding my head emphatically! Yeah, really big difference. I think because in seminary in the best possible way, I became so stripped down to core that there was no other way to be. So there was an enormous difference there. Absolutely. Very grateful for that. It's healing and empowering at the same time.


Colleen:

And needed, very needed.

We all hear that person who connects, versus that person who's reading questions off a page.

Donna:

Thanks. Yeah, I guess it is. And you can hear differences in people if you're listening to radio or watching television or listening to podcasts. You hear it, everybody, we all hear it. We all hear that person who connects versus that person who's reading questions off a page.


So, yeah, we all know the difference and we learn to do it. I mean, I learned to do it in front of a microphone or on stage. You may have learned to do it one on one over coffee with someone. Someone else learns in a different way. We all have the capacity to do that. I just did it on stage in front of 100, 000 people.


But we have the capacity to have that connection if we want to, if we choose to, if we're willing to learn how to.


EPILOGUE:

 Learning how to meet people where they are and connecting with them there. Yes, big yes. I'm appreciating Donna's real life encouragement to deepen our empathy in learning how to genuinely connect with ourselves and others.

I hope you'll tune into part three of connecting with Donna Apidone in episode eight,

Navigating the News, Relationships, and Life with Deeper Compassion.

Before we end, here's a brief taste of what you can access via the book or the podcast called "Drive Time Meditations with Donna Apidone." These are brief, vibrant motivators, roughly three to five minutes long. They're perfect for those who'd like to add some mindfulness to their commute or their day with reflections that guide you toward your purpose. You can find more details at donnaapidone.com. That's Donna A-P-I-D-O-N-E dot com.


We have the capacity to have that connection if we want to, if we choose to, if we're willing to learn how to. --Donna Apidone

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