Healing From Betrayal by Discovering Our Indweller, Part 4 of Angelika Schafer's series, Rising Through Trauma into Healing

"I've heard many stories of people who followed a guru with all their heart--gave everything they had to the guru, and then the guru turned out to be less than perfect. And there's a huge devastation, like a rift in your fabric--you give your innocence and trust, and then you get so disappointed. And I think that disappointment happened to all of us to some degree. So we forevermore guarded our own hearts to escape that pain to protect ourselves from further disappointment, from further pain. People do that in relationship all the time--they close off because they are afraid of further hurt, but it just doesn't work that way."

Lilah and Angelika exchange "I love you's."

In this fourth and final episode of rising through Trauma into Healing, we explore how totally serving a less than perfect leader can reflect our own unclaimed power within and deep betrayal can mirror our unhealed inner wounds. Angelika brings us on an inner hero's journey where we can learn to trust our Indweller, our deep knowing where the answers we seek emerge in stillness and awareness. From there, we can shift into living our truth for the most lasting ripple effect in the world.

 ​(Angelika):  I don't believe the answer is in any political party or leader. Look at Germany. People loved Hitler when he first came into power. He saved people from hunger. He created jobs. He rescued the economy. He gave them purpose. He gave them meaning for life. He created Hitler youth. He created a spirit of Yeah, we can do anything hope. He was quite amazing. He started to get the Autobahn built, so there's freeways. And so it created all these jobs and the economy grew.

So people saw him as a savior, as a father figure who got them out of this miserable state they were in. And, most of the German people, including my parents, didn't even know what was going on. They were so devastated towards the end when they realized it wasn't as it seemed, that they were not only physically traumatized by losing their homes and being in a war zone and being bombed and starving, but they also experienced incredible emotional, psychological trauma of losing their father figure, their leader, their rescuer, their savior that helped them!

It's just like I've heard many stories of people who followed a guru with all their heart --gave everything they had to the guru, and then the guru turned out to be less than perfect. And there was a huge devastation--like a rift in your fabric, that you give your innocence and trust, and then you get so disappointed.

I think that disappointment happened to all of us to some degree. So we forevermore guarded our own hearts to escape that pain to protect ourselves from further disappointment, from further pain. People do that in relationships all the time. They close off because they are afraid of further hurt, but it just doesn't work that way.

Discovering Our "Indweller"

So even that lesson--and just like with Hitler or political leaders or with gurus that we have been giving our power away to, even that was a collective lesson: learning to find the father, mother, divine connection, source, spirit, everything--the resources within us. Yes. Make them real. Many religious people don't have, still don't have a real, that's real for me. They do it through belief, through scriptures, through doctrine, but there's still this emptiness, like--where is it?

It's inside. It's alive, and it's communicative.

In India, they call it the antaryamin, which means the Indweller.

In Christianity, you call it the Holy Spirit, that which informs us.

There's a book, Yurantra that Nick teaches; where it's called the thought adjuster.

It's like something in us is always, if we're open, helping us to find the higher path, the higher truth, higher. It's like navigating something invisible, but we can all do it. We all have that ability within us.

The Hero's Journey and Unexpected Allies

And it's the most fascinating hero's journey you could ever write, that you could imagine--and we're living it right now! And we're all like a little Frodo and Samwise, going through Mordor. The crazy world, darkness of ignorance and control and dominion, and we are finding our way through the most unexpected. Like Gollum was a very unexpected ally, wasn't he? But he was needed to the very end. He was needed, couldn't do it. Frodo couldn't let it go. So Gollum had to bite the finger off. Okay, whatever it takes.

Embodying Change from Within

(Colleen): Oh, and here we are discovering awakening and whether we know it or not, being the change. And yet, it's not from the outside as you were saying, but just realizing and embodying who we are. It makes a change beyond our imagination--our wildest imaginations.

"I Grog You" 💖

(Angelika): My goodness, Colleen, what a beautiful, rich conversation. And I really hope we can continue this because there is a beautiful alchemy between you and I, and a very similar pathway, a very deep understanding. Like in a book--I forget the name now. I think Stranger in a Strange Land. They called it, talked about--I'm grogging it. Grogging? That word? You really get it in every cell, at every level. I'm grogging it. You're grogging. I grog you. Yeah, I grog you. I never forget that word. It was just so cute!

(Colleen): Oh, I love it. I love you. I'm grateful for you and these conversations that we get to have--this one is recorded and it's a blessing that we can open to whoever happens to be listening. Every conversation for me is a treasure chest, and we get to open it up and "Oh, did you see this? Look at that--look how it catches the light," and "Oh, look at how the light shines...!" These sparkles are so meant to be discovered and shared and felt and appreciated. I feel like innumerable invisible beings are just dancing with these conversations. I'm so glad!

(Angelika): So much grace! I think the universe, UI (Universal Intelligence) is using every opportunity it gets. And the more open we are--the more willing we are, the more of its juice and power of transformation is coming through. Yes. We open the door wide.

I feel like I'm sharing everything I've ever learned from the masters and the wisdom that I've pursued with such passion. And still, I'm by no means perfect. I am still experimenting all the time.

And one of the teachers R. J. Spina, (lately, I'd taken some courses), and he said that he had come to many points where he thought he was completely enlightened, completely awakened in his life--like seven, eight times. And he thought there was nothing beyond. And then he was surprised. There is more beyond that. (The door behind the door...)

The universe is endlessly expanding itself, endlessly learning about itself, exploring itself through everything, through us. And so there is no end point. And since I know that, there is no rush to get anywhere, but to be here. That's it. That's the secret of life!

So now, on that note, Colleen and I are here for you. We speak and sing for groups. We do counseling; we do all kinds of healing work. We share what we've learned. So reach out to us. And I am just so happy to meet everyone here and to be your friend, Colleen.

(Colleen): Likewise, ditto on everything you just said, and we will have more delicious rich conversations very soon.

(Angelika): And it was a beautiful start, wasn't it? Such a beautiful start.

(Colleen): Yes. And you had just come through something very difficult. And actually an hour before we started, my back went out. And yet we showed up--affirming that we are so much more than we could identify ourselves with. If I said, I am just my body I would be a wreck. And if you said, I am just my ability to take care of anything that comes my way and solve a problem, you would never be at peace or happy. It's such a wonderful thing that we're not that--we're so much more; we are!

Feeling Worthy of Help and Healing

(Angelika): We are. And here's just a quick practical reminder... When my neck was out the other day, I had a really hard time during the day. And then I really asked for help. I said, "I need to do my work here. I am totally willing and open to see what in me is still believing in some little tiny sense of punishment, or that I need pain. I'm ready to release it. Help me." And then I did some red light therapy. I did a little stretching, like hanging my head and stretching. And I got over it in one day.

So it's a deep thing about knowing that we are deserving of the help--reaching out, asking for help, even with little physical pains and things and problems.

It's often that we have this sense, I have to solve it by myself. But ask for help with all your heart. I am like a universal child. And would you just help me... this is distracting me; I don't need this pain anymore. Help me.

I know there is a solution: knowing that you're worthy--totally worthy to be free and happy.

(Colleen): Yes. I love that, and I find it again and again. Please help me--when I say those words with my heart, knowing that the help is there, something does shift. And often, in the case of my back, it may not go in right away. But I'll tell you what, my back is feeling a lot better now than it did an hour ago! I'm so grateful. Yes, thank you, Angelika.

Closing Thoughts and Gratitude

(Angelika): I really appreciate this. I appreciate you and everyone who will be listening. Much love and blessings. Yes. Thank you. And to you--every hero on this planet.

(Both): Yes. Eight billion heroes. Yes, to all the heroes within the heroes. Thank you!

Thank you for joining us in this Heartfelt Conversation series with Angelika Schafer on Rising Through Trauma into Healing. In today's segment. Healing from betrayal by discovering our Indweller, we explored how giving our power to imperfect leaders can reveal our own unclaimed strength. Disillusionment is painful, but often an invitation to turn inward to commune with our In dweller. the deep living wisdom beckoning each of us.

You can reach Angelika directly through her  website at AngelikaHealingMusic.com. That's Angelika with a "K", and also you can revisit any podcast episodes anytime through SongRise.live

And remember we have a great Bonus Content Page for our subscribers, which includes journaling prompts--questions that you can sit with in doing your own inner work around what we've covered in these wonderful conversations.

 Be sure to join us for our next episode featuring Donna Apidone, who was the host of NPRs Morning Edition for 25 years.

We are all on this journey together, learning and expanding, and so we thank you for being here, for listening, and for embracing the path of awakening.

Here are words that you heard a few minutes ago worth repeating from Angelika, and we'll be closing with one of her wonderful songs.

Until next time, much love and many blessings.

--Colleen Akiko

 The universe is endlessly expanding itself, endlessly learning about itself, exploring itself through everything through us. And so there is no end point. And since I know that, there is no rush to get anywhere, but to be here. That's it. That's the secret of life! --Angelika